Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
