She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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