That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
