I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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