Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
