I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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