mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
