1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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