So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
