sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
