We're facebook friends in real life
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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