i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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