i permit you to call me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
