I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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