my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize