dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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