some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
