i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
