brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
