I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
