I wanna bring you to show and tell
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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