My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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