there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
