I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
