I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize