They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
