I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
