Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
