I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
