I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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