It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
