Yo dont text me then not text me
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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