dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
