We're like a lot better than the average bears
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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