Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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