I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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