Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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