Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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