well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
