Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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