Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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