She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
