Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
