Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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