Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
