he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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