I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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