East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
