Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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