I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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