Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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