My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
