she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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