I want to make a zoo with you.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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