Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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