it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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