my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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