i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
