I'm going to jail i love you
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
