the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
