I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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