Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
