i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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