is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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