just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
